Dreading the 14th.

So what gives with me? Bill and I never really celebrated Valentines day so why am I dreading this one? I guess everything in the first year is "HARD" but I guess I just expect it to be different with me, how naive is that! So yes please say a prayer for me, specially on Valentines day! I must remember all I have to be thankful for rather than the fact that I am single. Wow, the rollercoaster of separation/divorce never really stops. For those of you who are married or in a relationship, enjoy each other and treasure one another for nothing will make me happier and that is the truth.

Imagine this scene, many action scenes are seen as music plays and then that scratching record sound and all stops. Well life is like that sometimes, don't you agree? No nothing bad is happening in my life(and I am very thankful for that) but life doesn't always moove along at the pace or timing I would like it to.

Today I once more heard the retelling of the story of ABraham and Sarah(in the bible). Abraham was promised by God that he would give him an heir and make his seed into a great nation too numerous to count. Well 10 years go by and no heir so Sarah takes matters into her own hand, after all God helps those who help themselves, right? WRONG! Sarah has Abram sleep with her maid and Ishmael is born(who is not Gods provision or promise) and off course it all goes sour. So eventually Sarah does bear the promise "Isaac" in a very ripe age of about 100 years.

So God promises and then makes them wait over 10 years! Talk about expecting patience. Why did God wait so long?... I found out why today, want to hear why?..... Well no doubt there were character issues that God was working on with both Abraham and Sarah but the fact that they had a child at such and old age was a sign to the heathen society that their "god of time" was no god at all and that Abrahams God was "THE GOD"

I got it, the message meant for me is "wait patiently, I am trustworthy and wise. I will fulfill my promises, but in my own perfect timing and in my perfect way. Don't take matters into your own hand as you are not able to see all and understand all and thereby cause more heartache than good."

OK Lord I get it, I wait........................

Lessons learned

As I look back at the previous year one may think I would count it as my worst with my husband leaving and all but in reality it has been an upswing from the last 5 years, pretty sad eh! What I did learn in 2006 was to finally be able to say "thank you Lord for the crap" pardon my expression but I believe in honesty.

As I think back to 6 years ago before all the major tramautic events happened in my life, I can recount one thing and that was my deep desire for God to change my heart as I learned who he really was. Not the God I necessarily grew up with in a legalistic cultural way and not the God so widely preached today through prosperity gospel preachers, but the real God! The Sovereign one.

-The God who allowed cancer to grow in my body so I can finally understand that when death knocks on my door I will answer it knowing the future will be brighter than anything I can experience here on earth. Knowing full well that what awaits me on the other side is the phrase by my maker "Well done though good and faithful servant, enter into my joy today"

-The God who heard my cry to be stripped of pride and judgemental ways, and having the wisdom to know that I unfortunatly learn best through loosing it all.

-The God who heard my question as to why people really love the Word(bible). Well when you are stripped of all you go to the love letter that God has left us. The Bible is now something I relish and long for, it truly is life giving power to sustain you, raise you up and let us not forget to humble you. As for God, his way is perfect;the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him. 2 Samuel 22:31

-The God who helped me understand what "Job" in the bible went through as a Sovereign God let Satan have his way. I learned that even though we mean well, that I do not want to be "the friends of Job" to others and in "my wisdom" answer and act.

-The God who taught me that forgiving is not necessarily forgeting but that without forgiving I will become that which I detest so much.

-The God of Grace. It is only by his Grace that enables us to live this life and make mistakes. He gives wisdom to those who ask so that one can learn from those mistakes freely without condemnation.

I am not the same woman I was 5 years ago but I am a kinder and gentler person. I could go on as to many other lessons learned but you don't have all day to read this. All in all everyday may bring new challenges and believe me! mine are still coming but the more I learn about My God the more I find the strength and wisdom to live this life daily.

Again, thank you Lord for the crap! only YOU can turn the most vile and hidious things into a work of art.

What I really believe

It is so hard to share with others what I mean when I say "I am not religious but I have a relationship with God" I want so much for those who don't know the creator to fully experience Him for themselves. This poem is such a beautiful picture of what that relationship is thought to be and what God really longs for.

Return to rest

(copied from http://theonething.blogspot.com/)

I opted to be a servant.

Oh how I wanted to serve you.

I wanted to do it all.

To do it well.

I wanted to please you.

Faithfully.... not perfectly, I did. I tried.

I failed. I tried again. And again.

But you wanted a lover.

You want a lover.

Good bye Dietrich

On Friday December the 29th. our dearly beloved cat Dietrich passed away with his owner close by at the Peel Animal shelter. After a long traumatic illness it was thought best that his suffering should end and eternal peace be found. Dietrich, you are already missed. You were a wonderful independant yet loving cat who knew that Shadie ruled in this house. Though you could not hear, you lovingly called to us in a gentle meow when needing food which was... frequently. Maria will miss the hump she felt at the foot of the bed where you slept, but wont miss the hair you shed on your last days due to your stress. You will be forever remembered

-as we cast aside paper gift bags as they were your favourite toys.

-as we hear the raucaus of the neighbouring racoons, we will remember how you were so friendly that if we would let you outside you would of befriended them.

-as we move the middle speaker that sits on top of the television and reveal the crack in the plastic shell when you used that as your personal step to get on/off the windowsill.

-as we ask for the salt and pepper only to realize we don't have a full feline set anymore since you are gone and the salt/white is missing.

Your life may of been only 4 years in duration but your heart gave us a lifetime of memories and love. We Love you Dee! Rest in peace.

Movies and Christmas day!

I never understood how movies could successfully open up on Christmas day until yesterday. Bill came over at 8 a.m. to be there as Anisten opened up her presents and by 9:30 a.m. he had gone home to sleep as his clock is messed up from working night shift. My parents went off to church and stayed there for the whole day as they have a special program and off course it wouldn't be a Ukrainian event without lots of food. My brothers live in Edmonton and so are the Sims whom we spent 5 great happy Christmases with in the past.

Wanda and Brent had invited us over if we wanted but Anisten wanted a quiet day to play with her new STUFF and plenty of it being TECHNOLOGY. She is also not big on going somewhere with people she doesn't know(blame her fathers genes for that one). We did get a chance to visit with Brent and Wanda the day before along with our long time friends Peter and Darlene, it's always good to see friends specially the ones you don't get to see often. Wanda and Brent always have an open door policy and I truly love them for it.

Soooo... I treated myself to watching Mission Impossible 3 on pay-per-view, I love action movies!!!!!!!!!!! Well that took me till about 11:30 a.m... And since Tom by this time had me in the ACTION mode I tried, and I mean tried to talk Anisten into going to see another action movie "Eragon"(I can feel some of you shuddering at the thought). She just wouldn't budge and stayed in her pj's all day until we went out on a drive to see the Christmas lights on homes which turned out to be a very lame idea since living in a multicultural and multi faith area doesn't lend itself to the masses decorating for the Christmas season.

NOW I KNOW

HOW HOLLYWOOD MAKES SO MUCH MONEY ON CHRISTMAS DAY!

Merry Green Christmas

Yes, we have green grass as of today Christmas eve. MERRY CHRISTMAS to you all. Don't forget as you celebrate the true reason we celebrate.

For God so greatly loved and dearly prized the world that He [even] gave up His only begotten (unique) Son, so that whoever believes in (trusts in, clings to, relies on) Him shall not perish (come to destruction, be lost) but have eternal (everlasting) life. John 3:16