As I look back at the previous year one may think I would count it as my worst with my husband leaving and all but in reality it has been an upswing from the last 5 years, pretty sad eh! What I did learn in 2006 was to finally be able to say "thank you Lord for the crap" pardon my expression but I believe in honesty.As I think back to 6 years ago before all the major tramautic events happened in my life, I can recount one thing and that was my deep desire for God to change my heart as I learned who he really was. Not the God I necessarily grew up with in a legalistic cultural way and not the God so widely preached today through prosperity gospel preachers, but the real God! The Sovereign one.
-The God who allowed cancer to grow in my body so I can finally understand that when death knocks on my door I will answer it knowing the future will be brighter than anything I can experience here on earth. Knowing full well that what awaits me on the other side is the phrase by my maker "Well done though good and faithful servant, enter into my joy today"
-The God who heard my cry to be stripped of pride and judgemental ways, and having the wisdom to know that I unfortunatly learn best through loosing it all.
-The God who heard my question as to why people really love the Word(bible). Well when you are stripped of all you go to the love letter that God has left us. The Bible is now something I relish and long for, it truly is life giving power to sustain you, raise you up and let us not forget to humble you. As for God, his way is perfect;the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him. 2 Samuel 22:31
-The God who helped me understand what "Job" in the bible went through as a Sovereign God let Satan have his way. I learned that even though we mean well, that I do not want to be "the friends of Job" to others and in "my wisdom" answer and act.
-The God who taught me that forgiving is not necessarily forgeting but that without forgiving I will become that which I detest so much.
-The God of Grace. It is only by his Grace that enables us to live this life and make mistakes. He gives wisdom to those who ask so that one can learn from those mistakes freely without condemnation.
I am not the same woman I was 5 years ago but I am a kinder and gentler person. I could go on as to many other lessons learned but you don't have all day to read this. All in all everyday may bring new challenges and believe me! mine are still coming but the more I learn about My God the more I find the strength and wisdom to live this life daily.
Again, thank you Lord for the crap! only YOU can turn the most vile and hidious things into a work of art.
